Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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