"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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