in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
