Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.

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  (219): I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls. http://tfl.nu/l75s
  Replies (46) Good night (1078) Bad night (3738)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.

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  (917): OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE. http://tfl.nu/leeu
  Replies (23) Good night (742) Bad night (4183)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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  (757): 6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter. http://tfl.nu/kp9e
  Replies (42) Good night (5449) Bad night (911)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.

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  (214): So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college. http://tfl.nu/20dw
  Replies (7) Good night (3667) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.

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  (561): I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick. http://tfl.nu/378g
  Replies (74) Good night (11780) Bad night (1538)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

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  (973): Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/9e8r
  Replies (38) Good night (9144) Bad night (2084)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.

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  (208): You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish. http://tfl.nu/85ra
  Replies (9) Good night (572) Bad night (1611)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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  (615): You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs http://tfl.nu/j07e
  Replies (1) Good night (1478) Bad night (527)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again

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  (704): Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again http://tfl.nu/mnjw
  Replies (5) Good night (1318) Bad night (556)
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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  (951): I'm sorry I peed on your everything. http://tfl.nu/ktzg
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (1209)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.

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  (308): The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it. http://tfl.nu/le1i
  Replies (5) Good night (604) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.

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  (307): I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit. http://tfl.nu/1gr7
  Replies (8) Good night (432) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to explain...

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  (330): We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar. (330): It's hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/5wi2
  Replies (6) Good night (689) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.

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  (727): She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit. http://tfl.nu/846j
  Replies (9) Good night (319) Bad night (1029)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.

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  (301): I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again. http://tfl.nu/3xfs
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (269)

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