mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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