Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour

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(954): i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour http://tfl.nu/3p9u

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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(228): I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls. http://tfl.nu/frla

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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(608): I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over http://tfl.nu/rs0c

Replies (32) Good night (1365) Bad night (5382) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.

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(913): Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in. http://tfl.nu/xn3x

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(631): View more from New York

She told me I should be a condom model.

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(631): She told me I should be a condom model. http://tfl.nu/0ukw

Replies (14) Good night (6862) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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(209): View more from California

You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.

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(209): You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him. http://tfl.nu/xni0

Replies (15) Good night (3891) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.

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(515): trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point. http://tfl.nu/fff7

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.

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(267): he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice. http://tfl.nu/aht5

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(916): View more from California

I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

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(916): I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter. http://tfl.nu/a3e6

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit

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(203): Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit http://tfl.nu/qeew

Replies (6) Good night (873) Bad night (1950)
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(206): View more from Washington

I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

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(206): I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night. http://tfl.nu/kkxt

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(702): View more from Nevada

i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!

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(702): i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield! http://tfl.nu/o1fu

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(831): View more from California

to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

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(831): to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal http://tfl.nu/c7f7

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(402): View more from Nebraska

If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed

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(402): If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/sm0v

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(503): View more from Oregon

Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.

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(503): Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun. http://tfl.nu/5we2

Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt

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