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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see

  Fav 8 3047 813

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

  Fav 29 4670 1063

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• (714): View more from California

  Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  two words: eviction party

  Fav 28 6515 1341

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  I don't have a cat..?

  (940): View more from Texas

  Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.

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• (925): View more from California

  I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.

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• (858): View more from California

  Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on the fast track to lesbian land

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