I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
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two words: eviction party
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land