turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize