Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
