Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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