i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i permit you to call me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
