I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
