yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
