just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
