I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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