Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
