I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
