As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize