I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
