Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it glows. i had to have it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ladies don't puke and tell
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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