The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
