She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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