fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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