Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
