I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
