from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
