I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize