Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
