I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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