I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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