Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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