Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize