Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize