So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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