I am puke
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
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Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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