I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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