evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
