i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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