Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
