she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
