she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
