I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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