I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
