you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
