I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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