Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
