Your tits are I can't wait for
are you so shy because you have an std?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
