Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Vodka?
Forever.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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