I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
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My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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