The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
