My first STD was from a foam party
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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