I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize