She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
