I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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