the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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