paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
