he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
