Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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