I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
